Dulce delicous.

During Christmas we all make and eat things that we shouldn't. Dulce de leche is one of these things. I found out just how good this stuff is when a friend of mine married a man from Chile. This man's mother is a renowned baker in her area, and they make a cake from thin cookies and dulce de leche.

My friend actually brought some home with her. The cake was covered in powdered sugar and wrapped in saran wrap. It was a towering firm thing, well adhered and sturdy. I looked around the interwebs and found that there are a few people out there who have had this, and mostly they talk about it. Many people who have had that cake do not also speak English.

I found a partial recipe, but found that the cookie dough was a pain in the butt to deal with and hard to roll out. I also have found that I have one small oven and only two racks. To make this cake you need around seven layers of cookie in the middle.

I have come up with my own invention. It is not the recipe that my friend's mom makes. Hers has hard cookies in it, and I don't really have the recipe for that. I have come up with a solution. It includes a pie dough type layering item and dulce de leche. It works well and is well received. It is messy and not very pretty, so I always like to dust it well with powdered sugar and well trim the sides. I think the cake that my friend's mom makes is round, mine is square. Not to fear, it is good, and people will think you amazing for making it. So with a simpler version of a dessert I cannot recreate I give you:

Dulce De Leche Cake

Oh, you might have to make multiples of the dough recipe. Just make the cake until you run out of dulce de leche.

Ingredients:

2 C. high quality unbleached flour
4 oz. cream cheese
3 oz. butter
2 Tbs. natural sugar

2-3 cans of sweetened condensed milk

Powdered sugar

Method:

I do not recommend you do this, I have told you this before, not a good idea. Peel the cans of condensed milk (or you can purchase cans of dulce de leche in the Mexican isle at some grocery stores). I might mention, I do it all the time, nothing explodes, I also use a pot I don't care about. Place them in the bottom of a large pot. Fill the pot with water 3 inches over the tops of the cans. Cover with a tight lid and boil for 8 hours. Do not let the water level drop below 1 inch over the cans. Remove from water and cool completely.

In a food processor combine the flour, sugar, cream cheese and butter. Pulse until it looks like grit. Add one or two tablespoons of water to get the dough to barely come together. If your dough is too wet you will have to use a lot of dusting flour.

Divide dough into thirds. Roll the dough out very thin, place it on a cookie sheet and poke all over with a fork. Bake 350 for about 10-15 minutes or until the edges get brown. Remove from cookie sheet, repeat.

Now with your skills cut your dough in half and make the best shaped half the size/shape of your cake. Place this on a plate and spread with dulce de leche. Place the other half on top, or use pieces and create a jigsaw type layer. Cover with dulce de leche. I usually go about 6-8 layers. Cut the sides on the cake to make a nice presentation and make sure the top is covered in a generous layer of dulce de leche. To keep the cake fresh cover it in powdered sugar (sides and all) and wrap tightly in saran wrap. To serve the cake place on a little plate and re-cut the sides if they are looking messy. Sprinkle with powdered sugar.

A little cake made like this (about 3x3 or 4x4 inches) will be enough for a 10-15 person party. It is very rich and you only need a little tiny square of it. I said it was good, not good for you.

Mmmm Pie.

I do not like pie. I have nothing against pie, but in the struggles of day to day life, if someone asks 'would you like some pie?' I would probably say no thank you.

Pie is a dessert that I can defiantly say no to. There is good pie, better pie, and bad pie. Most pie is in the latter two categories, and if I were to eat pie, it would have to be good pie. I also prefer cream pies, or just pie filling to actual pie. In the world of pie, there are things that say they are pie and aren't pie. We normally call these cream pies. They aren't really pie, it's pudding in a shell. We go to a restaurant and they have this thing they call peanut butter pie. It isn't pie, it's a creamy dessert in a shell, it should probably be severed in little cups, it doesn't need a crust. I've seen the health cook books talk about crust-less pie, there really isn't such a thing, now you just have custard. Or fruit, I like fruit.

I guess what I don't like about pie is the crust. I like pumpkin pie filling, that's ok, not enough to actually make it as a dessert, but it's not bad. However the crust is not my thing, I just don't like it. I feel like this about most pie fillings, starting with blueberry being my fav, and going down from there.

So in the efforts to make a non pie, pie, I have come up with what could probably be termed peanut butter bars. I call it peanut butter pie, only because I made it in a pie pan. I got the idea from Dilettante. This is a good confectioner that has some shops in the area. They make some things well that I cannot do. They also make peanut butter bars that are a huge disappointment. I get one every time I go too, and the crushing disappointment gets me every time. The main reason they're not any good is because they are made of crust. The crust is twice as thick as the filling, flavorless and dry. Horrible way to ruin a good idea. Anyhow I've been working on it and the secret is sweetened condensed milk. And thin crust. You have to have thin crust.

I have never measured this with cups or silly things like that, so you might need to adjust a bit.

Note: it is Christmas time, and there is nothing healthy about it.

Peanut Butter Pie

Ingredients:

7 oz. peanut butter
1 can sweetened condensed milk
1 C. semi sweet chocolate chips
1/2 C. butter
2 C. flour
4 oz. cream cheese
4 oz. butter
1/4 C. sugar

Method:

Butter a springform pan. Cut the cream cheese and butter into the flour and sugar. Add a touch of water and press enough of the dough into the bottom of the pan to cover it, you may have leftover dough.

Bake the crust at 350 for about 10-15 minutes. Mix the condensed milk and peanut butter together. Spread onto the crust and bake at 350 for about thirty minutes. When the peanut butter is slightly more brown on the edges it is done. Remove and set to cool. While the pie is cooling heat the chocolate chips and butter together over low heat until melted, pour over the pie and allow to cool completely. Cut into wedges and serve.

Things inside of pumpkins.

I know it's the new hotness, cooking things inside of pumpkins, but I never said I don't like jumping on band wagons. It's nice to serve up a filled pumpkin and have everyone go 'oooooh' and feel really appreciated for what you've done.

I had a pumpkin, and decided I would try this new thing, and I failed. I was going to cook up a 'risotto' inside a pumpkin, and it didn't work. I found out that you have to cook the rice before you put it in the pumpkin. Hours later, we had half cooked rice, and as it turns out the pumpkin is not an even cooking vessel.

I went and bought another pumpkin and I would try again. I will not be defeated by a pumpkin! Down with the horrible pumpkin regime, I will prevail!

As I opened my pumpkin and was scooping it out, I noticed a bad spot, it went all the way through. Well beep. I already had my rice ready, what was I gonna do? For a brief moment I almost thought about being one of those weird people who returns food. But then, I had cut the pumpkin and scooped most of it out. I rallied my spirits, cut the pumpkin in half, put it in a bowl and then cut up the half with the bad spot and saved what I could. It actually worked really well. The bad spot was on the bottom, so that made it easy, I just had a bowl of a pumpkin. The rest I cubed, mixed in and covered it all with foil and it worked so well! It also made it easy to add cheese at the end.

I cannot guarantee that your pumpkin will have a bad spot, so I'll give you directions for a non-defective pumpkin.

Pumpkin Risotto

Ingredients:

1 C. brown rice
3 morningstar vegetarian sausage patties
1/2 C. sweet onion
1 Tbs. minced garlic
2-3 tsp herbs de provence
1 Tbs. Organic chicken Better Than Bullion base
1 Tbs. unfiltered apple cider vinegar
salt and pepper
1/4 C. non-homogenized cream
truffle oil
low fat mozzarella cheese
1 scooped out sugar pumpkin

Method:

In a pan cook the onion and garlic. Combine in a rice cooker: rice, appropriate amount of water, chopped sausage patties, herbs, chicken base, vinegar, salt and pepper, onions and garlic. When the rice is done (being brown rice, it will hold up to the cooking, if you use white rice, only cook for 15 minutes), mix it with the cream and a little more water. Mix in the cheese, cut into cubes. Fill the pumpkin and drizzle a little truffle oil over the top. Place top on pumpkin and bake 350 for about an hour and a half. Be sure to bake in a dish. To serve, scoop out some of the pumpkin with the rice and if desired sprinkle with Parmesan cheese.

What happens during snow storms.

It snowed here, in the Northwest, and when that happens everyone freaks out and hides at home. It seems silly, people put chains on their cars when there's no snow on the roads, but when the sky dumps snow and ice all over the place there are no chains to be found!

It did snow a lot, and the roads were like ice rinks, so I stayed home a couple days, not that my work was open anyhow, and cooked like a mad woman.

I had to start by cleaning my house well. There's nothing more enjoyable than sitting inside my nice clean house all warm and snugly with a nice cup of mulled wine or hot tea. I look out at the suckers who have to bundle up and go places, and think to myself, ahhhhhh.

With my husband around for a day, I decided I would cook a great breakfast. I made hashbrowns, eggs and bacon. Hashbrowns are easy to make if you follow a few simple rules: when you grate your potatoes, put them between two clean towels and then roll up the towels and step on them. You want to squeeze out all of the moisture from the potatoes. This method is clean and easy.

The other rules is easy: add more. If you think you have enough oil, add more. If you think you have enough salt, add more. If you think you have enough pepper, add more. The simple truth is that hashbrowns aren't good for you, because to make them properly you need more grease, salt and seasoning than you think. I used bacon grease in mine, I also like mine pretty crispy, so I turn them more often than most, but it seems to work out just fine. I let them crisp up, then turn them to expose more potato to the crisping of the bacon grease. I suppose I didn't use a ton of oil, but I did use more than I would if I were making potato latkes or potato cakes. I can't really tell you how to make them, because we all have different pans, different size graters and different ideas of what makes good hashbrowns. I can tell you that you should dry the crap out of them, cook them over medium high heat, and be generous.

The other thing I made was cookies. I love cookies, but not all cookies. I don't like oatmeal in my cookies at all. And to be honest, I firmly believe in one type of cookie, the chocolate chip. I however do understand that other people make different types of cookies and many of them are good. I don't mind the occasional snicker doodle. Ginger snaps are nice sometimes, and those nefarious girl scouts sell many types of insidious cookies. I was looking through a healthy cooking magazine that will remain nameless, and I found a cookie recipe. I should have known better.

I have for a long time known, because I've tried to make them, that cookies aren't healthy. You cannot make a healthy cookie that tastes good. I mean you can make them so that they're not bad, or alright. However they will never be fantastic, phenomenal or mind blowingly good. If you don't want to eat a bad for you cookie, don't eat cookies. Dessert in general is meant to be a treat, and shouldn't be compromised because we think that cheesecake can be good for you. Cookies, cake, custards, these things should be heart stopping bad for you and taste divine.

Anyhow I don't know what these people were thinking, they have a cookie recipe, that's supposed to be light and they put two cups of sugar into it. Along with the normal two cups of flour, I was kind of shocked. Most cookie recipes call for 1 - 1.5 cups of sugar. I'm not saying that some don't call for a full two cups, but when you're trying to cut down on calories, isn't sugar one place to look? A cup of sugar has 770 calories in it. I usually cut down sugar in my cookies to one cup, just because otherwise they're too sweet for me. I mean, it's a generous cup, but I don't need equal parts sugar and flour to make kick ass cookies.

They also had paltry amounts of peanut butter, added other oils, took out one egg yolk (yeah, save those 50 calories!), and instead used two egg whites, what's the point? You save a calorie per cookie? BUT YOU HAVE ALL THAT SUGAR? I fixed it. I fixed the recipe. I liked where they were going, but not how. Now, mine is not a health cookie, it's just a peanut butter cookie with milk chocolate chips, but it's kind of like eating a Reese cup. Mmmm. Reese cup.

When I make cookies I do not use all natural peanut butter. I use Jiff, on a normal, I'm gonna make a pbj basis, I use organic ground peanuts. No hydrogenated oils, and no sugar. Just peanuts and salt. I think this has to do with my child hood, we always ate Adams peanut butter at home. Delicious. At my grandmother's house we did that too, but she put butter on her sandwiches and Jiff reminds me of that horrible combination. Cooking is different, use Jiff, and if you want they make a natural one, use a no stir peanut butter.

Peanut butter chocolate cookies.

Ingredients:

1 C. organic sugar
1 Tbs. molasses
2 C. creamy peanut butter
1/4 C. buttermilk
2 farm fresh eggs
1 tsp. vanilla
2 C. flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
1 C. milk chocolate chips

Method:

In a bowl, combine with a mixer until smooth and creamy sugar, molasses, peanut butter, buttermilk, eggs and vanilla. Mix together the flour and leavenings. Stir into the peanut butter mixture until combine and then stir in the chips. Heat the oven to 350, shape the mixture into 1 Tbs. balls and pat down on ungreased cookie sheet. Bake for 14 minutes, remove to cool on rack or tea towel. Repeat with remaining dough, makes about 36 cookies.

The most comforting of foods.

When I was a child my mother used to do what all frugal moms do. She made bread pudding. She said that it was you did when you had old milk, old bread and lots of eggs.

I loved those bread puddings, it is still one of my favorite desserts. The crusty top and the soft middle. The plump raisins soaking in the syrup that always forms at the bottom of the pan. There is no greater comfort food. Except for mac and cheese. It's a close call.

One of the reasons my mom's bread pudding was so good was she made it in a big bowl. No, wait that's two reasons! It's in a bowl so you get a nice moist middle (there's nothing worse than dry bread pudding) and then it's in a big bowl, so there's lots of it! It never lasted in our house, with three kids and two adults that pudding never made it past day two.

I have a friend who makes a good savory bread pudding, and that's also quite tasty. I don't make bread pudding like my mom, though mine's real good. She has a standard method, and I think she's lying about the proportions she actually uses. She claims that it's one slice bread, one cup milk and one egg. This can't be true, because I've seen her bread pudding and I think she does what I do.

I recently made a pumpkin bread pudding and it was ... amazing. I've tried chocolate, and that's not so hot. I suppose you could put whatever you want in it, but apart from the pumpkin one, I always stick to the basics. The classic bread pudding has white bread, or whole wheat, whatever, milk, eggs, sugar, raisins and cinnamon in it. Perhaps a bit of vanilla. I like to make a simple syrup and add rum to it to serve with the pudding.

Pumpkin Bread Pudding

Ingredients:

4 slices of good white bread
3 large farm fresh organic eggs
2 C. organic milk
1/2 C. buttermilk
1/2 C. organic sugar
1 Tbs. TJ's pumpkin pie spice
1 tsp. vanilla
3.5 oz organic canned pumpkin
1/2 C Raisins
1 C. hard apple cider
1 C. Sugar

Method:

Cube bread into 1 inch cubes. In a oven proof bowl mix milk, buttermilk, sugar, eggs spices, vanilla and pumpkin. Mix in raisins and bread until soaked through. Bake 350 for 12 minutes. Stir up the pudding and bake another 12 minutes. Stir and then bake until done, about 20 minutes.

In a small pot mix the hard cider and sugar together. Heat until it boils and let boil for about a minute. Cool.

To serve pour a little syrup over the bread pudding. Serve warm.

Pumpkin, it's a fall thing.

I'm on a pumpkin kick. It's widely avaliable in fall, and it makes great food. Through the years I have made pumpkin breads, cookies and cakes. These are all well and good, but I'm looking to branch out.

I have seen the so called pumpkin bisque in the stores to purchase, and even sampled some, and they are good. I decided though, that they don't have to be nearly so bad for you.

I started out with a mild failure. My husband, upon sampling my creation look at me and said it was grainy. He then proceeded to tell me that I was lacking in the amount of cream I used.

The next morning I strained the soup and it did help, he was right it was grainy. I thought this weird, and it brings me to something that I should have realized a while ago. My food processor is not new. I've had it for over ten years. The same blade for all those years, it is probably time to get a new blade. I'm not going to buy a whole new processor, they may look more chic, but they don't really look much different and they cost $200. Not only that I do have a large guilty feeling of getting rid of a perfectly good item, just because it's not in style. Manufacturing these machines isn't the most earth healthy thing. Pitching on into the trash isn't the green thing to do. I know I could take it down to the Goodwill and feel better about myself, but I still feel like it's just tossing crap because it's 'old'.

Well so the blade doesn't puree things anymore, just finely chops. I have found that my blender (with easily replaceable parts) also does a fine job with soups. Blenders are good things to have around. You can get universal new blades for a few bucks, new o rings come in multi-packs and cost around three bucks! My sister in law recently got her first blender, and this prompted a discussion in the family.

How many speeds do you need on that blender? I say two: on and off. I don't ever use the slower speeds, which is good because my blender has two speeds. If you say "oh the splattering that happens" you are overfilling your blender. Start with half of what you think should go in there, just a little, blend it up and then add more while the blender is running. I have also found, that for safety, a kitchen towel thrown over the lid of the blender and held down keeps all splatter at bay.

This is a recipe that seems to have unnecessary steps. Don't doubt me, you need to do them all.

Creamy Pumpkin Soup

Ingredients:

1 Tbs. butter
1/2 roasted sugar pumpkin
1 large sweet onion
2 honey crisp apples
2 tsp Organic Better Than Bullion Chicken base
6 C. water
2 tsp. TJ's pumpkin pie spice
2 tsp. garham masala
pepper and a pinch of salt (maybe 1/2 tsp)
1 C. organic non-homogenized 1/2 & 1/2
1/3 C. buttermilk
Creme Fraiche
several slices of cooked bacon, crumbled
honey chevre (if you can't find it to buy take a bit of honey and mix it into your goat chevre)

Method:

Cut your pumpkin in half, scoop out the seeds and roast for about 20-30 minutes at 450.

In a large soup pot melt the butter, roughly dice the onions and apple. Add these to the pot and cook for about 12 minutes, stirring frequently. Add the pumpkin, roughly chopped and the water along with the chicken base and some pepper. Cover and simmer for 12-20 minutes. In a food processor or blender puree a bit of the soup. In a separate bowl, run the puree through a fine mesh strainer or cheese cloth, pressing the mixture into the sides of the strainer. Discard anything left over from the mixture. Continue this way until you have pureed and strained all of the soup. Wash the original pot and return the soup to it.

Over the lowest heat possible, add the spices and test the flavor. If needed add up to 1/2 tsp salt. In a bowl mix together the half and half, buttermilk, and a few spoonfuls of creme fraiche. Cook the bacon until crisp, pat dry and crumble.

Put a few spoons of the hot soup into the cream mixture, and stir quickly, repeat until you have added 1 C. of hot soup to the cream, tempering it. Then add the cream to the soup. Do not boil or simmer! Once you have added the cream to the soup, you cannot ever heat it quickly, you will ruin the soup. Ladle into bowls and sprinkle a bit of bacon and chevre onto the top. Serve with salad and french bread.

Pumpkin on the go!

Just before this past Halloween I stole a party from a friend and invited people over for pumpkin treats and pumpkin carving. It was a byop party, so I only provided pumpkins for my husband and myself. I ended up with about seven pumpkins on my porch.

In an attempt to create a themed party I thought long and hard about the various things you can do with pumpkin. I scoured the interwebs and looked through cookbooks. I finally came up with a plan: caramel corn - while not pumpkiny, it is a fall classic; pumpkin cupcakes, pumpkin curry empanandas, and a pumpkin pie martini.

The day started out well, it was pleasant enough outside, and I cleaned and cooked while my husband worked on various things. It was when I was making the caramel corn that the weather changed, and I realized I had made a tragic mistake. As I was stirring the corn I noticed that it wasn't very crisp, and wasn't getting any better. I thought that perhaps I hadn't cooked the caramel long enough, so I turned the oven up, just a bit and cooked it a little longer.

It was when I was giving up that I realized it was raining outside and told myself how stupid I am. You may not be aware, and my husband thinks it's silly, but you can't make candy in the rain. I don't know exactly why, but I have a theory. If you have ever bought brown sugar, which comes in the stupidest packages, you will notice that in a few weeks it's a hard little brick. The reason powdered sugar contains corn starch is to keep the sugar from absorbing water from the air. Sugar pulls moisture in from the air. Normally you keep your sugar in an airtight container, When it rains outside, the air is fully saturated with water. It's very humid. If you don't believe me that's fine, but you should try making candy in the rain and deal with the resulting mess. The best days to make candy are cold dry winter days.

At this point you might be wondering what I did with my grainy caramel corn. I served it anyhow. It tasted good, but wasn't as crisp as I would like, but I followed Julia Child's directions, and pretended like I meant for that to happen. Caramel clusters! yeah, that's it!

If you're going to make caramel corn I have one piece of advice for you. Use butter. Don't use margarine at all. Butter. Don't try to fancy it up, it's really good all on it's own.

The pumpkin empanandas were delicious, being that I cooked up a bunch of leeks in butter added canned pumpkin, buttermilk and garham masala. I also was a big cheater pants and used canned biscuits instead of making my own dough. I had enough to do without that.

My big success was the pumpkin martini. Let's talk for a minute about the so called 'pumpkin spice' crap that you see all over the place. Starbucks does it, you can buy liquor that is pumpkin spice, or candy, anyhow these things aren't pumpkin anything. They have a commonly used spice blend in them. Pumpkin pie spice is used in all kinds of things, it should just be called sweet mixed spices. I use it in zucchini bread, carrot cake, pancakes, green tomato cake, etc. etc. The word pumpkin is confusing, there's no pumpkin, or pumpkin flavor, in your pumpkin spice latte.


Anyhow when I looked on the interwebs for directions on how to make a pumpkin pie martini, I got a couple of suggestions: make pumpkin pie spice liquor, use Goldschlager, and the worst one yet: take canned pumpkin pie filling, mix it into your vodka and strain. Gross. I can't even imagine the nast that you would have to serve in a clear glass if that's what you did!

I went my own road and flew into a rage of cocktail making frenzy. I know, and some of you might, that canned pumpkin is not actually made from the pumpkin that pops into your brain when you hear the word. It's a similar gourd, but not the same. It's actually closer in taste to a butternut squash than to the pumpkins we see in the store. The reason for this is pumpkins in the store are grown for looks, and not taste. I even have my doubts about the flavor of sugar pumpkins. I think the canned pumpkin tastes much stronger than that from a 'pumpkin'.

Keeping this in mind I bought a butternut squash and went about the business of making my own cocktail. You will have to mix and taste to find the perfect combination, just as I did.

I am currently trying another batch made with sugar pumpkin, only because I'm wondering if I can up the pumpkin factor. Also I couldn't find a butternut squash at the store (weird I know). I don't think the color will be as good, and I think the flavor will be milder. The pumpkin has a lot more water in it than the butternut squash, so it didn't roast up so dry, and I think that was one of the reasons I got a good concentrated flavor, no added water.

It is important that you cook your chosen squash or gourd. The reason is, that you get that great cooked pumpkin taste when you roast the pumpkin. Fresh pumpkin, and gourds, have a distinct smell and taste. The reason pumpkin pie filling is so good on it's own is because it's cooked (come on, you know you always grab a spoonful.)

Pumpkin Pie Martini

Ingredients:

3 quarts of decent quality vodka (a big bottle)
1 butternut squash
1 whole nutmeg, cut up
7-9 allspice berries
1 pinch cardamom seed
9 whole cloves
1 cinnamon stick or cinnamon oil
3 clean quart jars and lids
2 C. organic sugar
1 C. water
Baily's Irish Cream

Method:

Place all the spices into one jar and cover with 3-4 cups of vodka. Close lid and shake. Cut up the butternut squash, don't worry about peeling it. Remove all the seeds and roast at 450 for about 20-30 minutes or until the squash is tender and bit dry on the outside. Cut up the squash a bit and put into two jars. Cover with vodka. Place all your sealed jars into a dark place and shake them every day for two weeks. Strain and put into new jars. Let these sit for one week in a dark place. In a pan place the sugar and water and bring to a boil. Cool completely. Now comes the good part, using a tablespoon mix together varying amounts of the two vodkas, sweetener and Baily's until you get something that tastes like a pie. At this point write down how much of it you used. I would recommend that you put no more than one part vodka and one part Baily's together, as the Baily's will curdle if you use more vodka than Baily's. My proportions were: 1 part squash vodka, 1/3 part spice vodka, 1/3 sweetener. This I mixed and called the base mix. I then mixed a shot of this with a shot of Baily's. Garnish with nutmeg.

Note: I used cinnamon oil at the end to adjust the spice mixture, to ensure that it had enough of that ... cinnamon flavor infused.

Cheating Cake

For a couple years I worked at a place full of wonderful persons, and I was in charge of cakes the last year I worked there. I left without anger, or on bad terms, as I was simply seeking to do something else. This blog is for them.

Making a cake is so simple. I can, and have made cakes from scratch, and these are simply divine. The best I ever made was a vanilla cupcake with vanilla bean in the batter and a milk chocolate frosting. Don't over think it, vanilla cake with chocolate frosting is a classic for a reason.

I often look at cake books and they have recipes in them, but I rarely buy them. I don't need someone to tell me how to make a lavender cake. I know how to do that, you flavor it like lavender. Der. When I purchase cooking magazines I go through and cut out recipes to put in my three ring binders for later use. Often when I come to a dessert recipe I just cut out the picture, especially if it's a cookie or cake. I make these brownies at Christmas that are orange chocolate brownies. The original recipe said to make these brownies such and such a way and then makes these two frostings and the actual recipe didn't sound good, but the name and picture made me think of a great brownie. I have a picture of a light purple cake, and it's actually for a 'wedding' cake, just champagne flavored, but when I look at it I think lavender cake. I have saved that picture because I don't want to forget about this cake that I thought of. I'm not sure how to do it, but I'm sure it would be good. Maybe a goat cheese filling.

I know that many people's minds don't work like mine, and I have given out cake recipes before, and I don't begrudge them to anyone. I do have a few things that I do that are a bit out of the norm. One: I almost always use a box mix. You can get them dirt cheap around the holidays. You need to stock up, I often find them for a buck or less, and buy around 4 or 5 to get me through the year (more when you owe cake to the ladies at work!) Really, how many cakes do you eat in a year? How many are you going to make? Two? It's cake, it's not a staple. You only need to buy two flavors: chocolate and vanilla.

Oh wait, I have a soap box moment. Who came up with the term 'snack cake'? I'm going to punch that person. You don't eat cake as a snack. Cake is something you eat on occasion, it's a treat. It's incredibly bad for you, and then you cover it in a mixture of butter and sugar. It's not something you can 'snack on' and remain an average size. This brings me to the horrifying observation that candy bars come in 'snack sizes' too! Who are these people? They out to be kicked. All right, soap box over.

The second thing I do to my cake mix: when the box says oil, they really mean melted and cooled butter. I'm not kidding, it's so much better. Third: they are telling you to cook that cake wrong. Cakes need to be cooked at a lower temperature, 350 is way to high to cook a cake properly. What will happen is you will end up with rubbery dry cake. This means you'll need frosting and ice cream to make that cake palatable. Turn down the heat to 325. They also tell you to cook the cake for too long. Start testing the cake at the least amount of time called for you preferred pan. I usually find that my cakes are just done at this time. This is what you want, just done cake. Don't give it a chance to dry out!

Fourth: Don't put water in your cake, if at all possible you should be using sour milk. Don't get all whiny about sour milk, sour milk is great for baking with. If you drink milk and have a bunch that's gone sour (now I mean sour, not chunky and obviously bad) you can use that to bake with. It makes great bread pudding. It's similar in flavor to buttermilk or yogurt, but more economical, as you were gonna throw that out anyhow.

Oh, I always sift my box mix, otherwise it doesn't mix up so well, and I never beat them as long as they tell you too. The reason for this is, when you beat flour you are making gluten, and this can make your cake hard, or stiff and rubbery. Use a whisk and beat just till smooth. Do NOT use a hand mixer, you will over mix that cake.

I will be telling you to put in flavorings that you might think are already in the cake mix, however, those boxes are designed to bring in maximum profit, so the flavorings used aren't the best. Let's talk vanilla for a minute. Don't buy imitation vanilla. Really you shouldn't buy imitation flavors at all. They don't taste very good. If you want something to taste like rum, put rum in it. If you want a butter flavor, use butter. Otherwise buy high quality flavors, it makes all the difference.

Now I only use Mexican vanilla. The last time we were there I almost died because I left my vanilla in the fridge at our hotel. You cannot just go pick one up at the air port. The one that I buy is called D' Lis, and it is the best. It has a sweet, floral vanilla flavor, and you can drink it straight from the bottle. It's unsweetened, and strongly flavored. It's very, very pure, and one of the more expensive vanillas. When choosing your vanilla you must be careful. Talk to the shop owner, find out how they care for that vanilla. Has it been exposed to the light? Has it been kept in a cooler place? When they sell it to you, it should be wrapped in brown paper and then put into a refrigerator as soon as possible, to protect the flavor. Look at the expatriation date. Don't buy expired vanilla. You might have to pay a bit more, for the same brand and bottle, for well treated vanilla. Calm down, it's only like a buck or two.

When I realized that I had left my vanilla, I did what any good chef does, I made my own. I had some beans that were getting on the elderly side, and some that were still good and fresh. I took a bunch of them - seven or so, and put them in a cup of vodka. When you do this, you should use as many beans as possible, open them up, shave them and put all that into a clean 8 oz. jar. Now cover it with vodka, a vodka you would drink. Not top shelf, but something decent. I tend to use Sky Vodka for infusions, it's cheap, but not bad. Put a clean lid on your jar of vodka and put that in the fridge and shake it occasionally. In about a month it will be ready to use.


I do need to talk about food coloring for a minute. I have gone the route of the true confectioner and bought thick food colors. It makes a difference when you make frosting. If you use liquid food color your frosting will become more and more thin as you color it. The colors are harder to make vibrant. I did not buy a frosting color for the green and sorely regretted it.

Now that we have covered some basics I will give you three cake recipes. Only because I feel like the social committee posse at VV deserves them.

Peanut Butter Cake

Ingredients:

1 vanilla box cake mix
1 tsp. kosher salt
4 farm fresh eggs
1 15 oz. jar smooth peanut butter (like Jiff, not natural)
1 C. sour milk
1/3 C. fair trade dutch process cocoa
1 stick softened butter
5-6 C. powdered sugar

Method

Prepare your pans by greasing and flouring them. Turn the oven on to 325.

Sift the box mix into a bowl, add the salt. Using a whisk mix in the eggs and 1/2 the jar of peanut butter. Add the sour milk and beat just until smooth. Pour into the cake pans and bake just until done. Bake just until done. Remove and cool for 10 minutes on a rack. De-pan and cool completely.

Mix together the remaining peanut butter and 2 C. powdered sugar to make a stiff frosting. If needed add a bit of water 1 tsp. at a time. Frost the middle and top of the cake with this frosting.

Mix together the remaining powdered sugar, cocoa powder and butter to a stiff frosting, use this frosting on the sides and carefully cover the top of the peanut butter frosting on top of the cake.

Note: I know that the recipe says to put oil into the cake, but you have to remember that peanut butter has a lot of oil in it. Don't worry, the cake will come out fine.


Dulce De Leche Cake

Ingredients:

3 cans sweetened condensed milk
1 vanilla cake mix
4 farm fresh eggs
1 C. sour milk
2/3 C. melted and cooled butter
4 C. powdered sugar
1 stick softened butter

Method:

Prepare your pans by greasing and flouring them. Turn the oven on to 325.

This is not recommended, don't do this. In the largest pot you own, peel the cans of condensed milk and place in the bottom on a rag. Pour water over the cans to cover by 3 inches. Bring to a simmer for 6-8 hours. Do not let the water level get lower than 1 inch over the tops of the cans. Remove from the water and let cool completely. You now have Dulce De Leche. Please taste it.

Sift the cake mix into a bowl. Mix in 1 can dulce de leche, the sour milk, the melted butter and the eggs. Mix just until smooth. Pour into prepared pans.

Bake just until done. Remove and cool for 10 minutes on a rack. De-pan and cool completely.

In a bowl combine the softened butter and 1 can dulce de leche, the softened butter and powdered sugar. Mix to a stiff frosting, add 1 tsp. water at a time if needed.

First 'frost' the cake with the remaining can of dulce de leche in the middle and the top, then use the frosting you made to frost the cake on the top and sides.

Pumpkin Cupcakes

Ingredients:

1 vanilla cake mix
2 Tbs. TJ's pumpkin pie spice
7 oz. can organic pumpkin
1/2 C. melted and cooled butter
4 farm fresh eggs
1/2 C. buttermilk
1 8oz. stick cream cheese
5 C. powdered sugar
1/4 tsp cinnamon oil
1 Tbs. Vanilla
black food coloring
orange food coloring
green food coloring

Method:

Sift the cake mix into a bowl. . Mix in the pumpkin, the buttermilk, the melted butter and the eggs. Mix just until smooth, if needed add a bit of water. Spread into prepared pans. It will be thicker, don't worry, pumpkin has a lot of moisture in it.

Bake just until done. Remove and cool for 10 minutes on a rack. De-pan and cool completely.

In your food processor combine the sugar, cream cheese, cinnamon oil and vanilla. Mix until the mixture comes into a ball. Add 1 Tbs. buttermilk, but no more. Mix by hand and then separate into two small bowls of black and green and one big bowl of orange.

Frost the bases orange with green tops and black faces.

I gnocchi all about it.

There was a time in my life when I was not a good cook. Hard to believe, I know. I had moved out of my parent's house, and while I had many a baking skills and could follow a recipe, I would not have classified myself as a good cook. Not to say that I was bad, average, perhaps?

I was also a vegetarian; now the world of vegetarians can be very boring. There's only so many types of pasta you can eat, so I decided to branch out one day and try gnocchi. In my innocence I bought some sort of dried gnocchi product. I made a tomato sauce, I'm sure the sauce wasn't bad, followed the package directions and smothered the little nuggets in sauce.

It was horrible. The gnocchi had a weird plastic taste and the consistency of rubber. That was over ten years ago. I wrote gnocchi off as disgusting.

Over the years my food values have changed and it came to my attention that there are more than one country where people eat gnocchi and it's apparently considered a wonderful thing. I decided I had to try again. I was spurred into action by, God only knows what. I suppose it was when I spied these fantastic heirloom potatoes at the Sunday market. This potato farm was growing the most wonderful types of hard to find potatoes. I bought some German Butterballs and went home with my prize. I also picked up some hand forged chevre, yellow beets and a bunch of flowers for my kitchen window.

I knew what I was going to do with those potatoes when I bought them, I was going to make gnocchi, it can't be that hard right?

I poked around on the internet and landed on a good source of how to make gnocchi. Mario Batali. I also looked at a bunch of other recipes, some that claimed they came from Italian grandmothers, and finally I decided to go with the pro. His seemed the most authentic, and he didn't use cheese in his potato pasta. I mashed and riced, and decided I need a potato ricer, not just the standard ricer I have. When I was done, I made a light cheese sauce, fixed a salad and voila! Dinner accomplished. I offered my toils to my husband, who has only had gnocchi once himself at an upscale restaurant.

It was great. So tender, yet soft and the texture was good. The potato flavor was unbelievable, I highly recommend German Butterball potatoes. My husband was impressed, and offered his permission to make these again. Stirred by my initial success I dug deeper and found a lot of people think that gnocchi is really hard to make. I had a conversation with an Italian friend and she sided with me, no they aren't hard to make and are delicious.

Now onto my initial idea. Beet Gnocchi. Yes, that's right, gnocchi made with beets and a chevre sauce. I scoured the interwebs and nerts! Someone else thought of it first. I threw caution into the wind and came up with my own idea. I also invited people over to eat my creation and they liked it. I probably won't do it again, it was messy, it was sticky, and the beet color didn't stay like I wanted it too. And the texture wasn't as good as potato gnocchi. Still, a success under my belt.

This is just another example of how you shouldn't be intimidated because some people are bad cooks. You should fling yourself out there and if you fall on your face, just do what Julia Child suggests and pretend that's what you meant to do.

I have plans to make one more type of gnocchi. As it turns out the French also make a type of gnocchi. This makes sense to me because France and Italy are close together, and the French were probably like "oh, this gnocchi is good, but it could use more butter and eggs." I read the recipe that Julia Child uses (she even calls it gnocchi, a potato pasta), and it uses a pate a choux, the base for eclairs and puff pastry, but mixes in a bunch of eggs, butter and potatoes. It sounds fantastic, and I'm sure it is. I would only make it for a party, as it's sure to be very rich, especially because she serves it with a beurre blanc sauce or something of the sort.

Well I will tell you what to do for beet gnocchi, I would suggest you make a balsamic based sauce Bearnaise for this. I'm sure you can do it, or I will probably do it later.

You must start the day before you want to eat. Even if you use ricotta instead of cottage cheese. Your cheese needs to be very dry for this, no whey at all in the cheese.

Beet Gnocchi

Ingredients:

3 large golden beets - roasted whole
1 lb. boiled Yukon potatoes
2 C. King Arthur all purpose flour
1 lb. fat free organic cottage cheese
1 farm fresh egg
Chicken Stock

Method:

The day before you plan to eat: put a fine mesh strainer in a bowl, line with cheese cloth, dump the cottage cheese into the cheese cloth, wrap the cheese cloth over the top of the cheese. Fill the now empty container with water and place on top of the cheese. Put this in the fridge.

Roast the beets whole. Boil the potatoes whole and when they are done peel both of them, do not let them cool off before you peel them. Finely shred the potatoes and beets until there are no large lumps. The beets may be put through a food processor, but not the potatoes. If you have a potato ricer, that would be ideal.

Put the mashed potato and beet into a bowl. In a food processor place the drained cheese, grind it till it is very fine. Add this to the bowl, stir in the egg, and a bit of salt. If you want you could add a pinch of nutmeg. Add the flour and do the best you can with the mixture, it will not come together into a ball very well. It should be rather soft, but still workable. Flour the working surface well. Divide the mixture into three balls and form each one into a tube. Cut off small sections and set aside on a floured surface.

Bring your chicken stock to a boil. Twenty at a time boil the gnocchi until they float, then boil them another minute or two. Lift out with a slotted spoon and serve immediately.

Harira it up.

So, if you've been reading from the beginning you would know that I had a deal with a farmer to purchase a lamb. I have not gotten a lamb from him. I'm not going to say it's all his fault, because after I demanded my deposit back and said that I was going to tell people about the type of business he does he offered me a lamb. I declined.

I will tell you what happened and why I declined.

Once upon a time there were four bridesmaids, and they loved the bride dearly. They decided to throw her a lua. It was to be wonderful, the smallest bridesmaid said "ooh, ooh, let's get a suckling pig!" and there was much rejoicing. She contacted a local farmer, who would sell her one at a decent price and gave him a deposit.

Two weeks before the lua, the farmer called the short bridesmaid and said she would not get a pig, but she could order one from someone else, but it would cost a lot more. She made other plans.

The wedding went off without a hitch, and the happy couple departed. The small bridesmaid called the farmer and reminded him that he said she could buy a lamb. He said yes and she gave him a deposit. When butcher time came, he did not call her. The bridesmaid sent him an email, and got a promise of a call and a slaughter date for her lamb. The call never came. Weeks went by and no call came from the farmer. The bridesmaid got really pissed off and wrote a nasty email and asked paypal to help her get her money back.

The farmer was clearly scared by her wrath and refunded her deposit and said she could have a lamb. The bridesmaid, still too pissed after the run around, no pig, and no lamb, told him where to stick it.

The end.

Basically bad business happening. I'm pretty sure I would never have heard from the man if I hadn't gotten pissy, and I don't want to do business with someone like that.

Anyhow I don't have a lamb and this makes me sad. I love lamb, it's tender and flavorful. I was also hoping to have some of those parts that are really hard to find, bits for haggis (don't worry, a Scotchtoberfest will happen, and you will hear about it), and especially neck slices.

I did luck out the other day and find neck and shoulder slices, and those are ok, a bit meaty perhaps, and lacking in the shear quantity of bone that neck slices have, but still a good soup cut. Lamb soup is wonderful. I highly recommend it. However don't use stew meat, or shank. What you need is lots and lots of bone. You could probably fake it with soup bones and stew meat, but you also don't have the connective tissue that the neck has. Also lamb neck slices are dirt cheap if you can find them. Like around a dollar a pound, regardless of how organic and pastured that meat is.

My favorite type of lamb soup is Harira, a traditional Moroccan soup. Normally eaten during Ramadan, I like to eat it during the week. This soup defiantly gets better with age so it's best to make a bunch at once. I usually make a big pot, freeze half of it and later we have soup again.

Ok, so you might have guessed, that I am not Moroccan and totally found this in a book, but it's so amazing, and I make it different than the books says, but it is still traditional. And if you serve it with Moroccan bread, it's about the best meal you can have.

I like to make the Moroccan bread, because it only takes one rise. That means that I can come home, start the bread, make a salad, heat the soup and in 1.75 hours we have fresh bread with no hassle. I will give you both recipes today. But only because I feel like I've been neglecting you.

On a side note, you might think I put a lot of salt into things, but I use Kosher salt, and because of the shape of Kosher salt, it actually takes up a lot more space, for the same weight, than table salt. If you use table salt, use a scant 2 tsp. for every Tbs. in my recipes. The reason to use Kosher salt is because it's good for sprinkling, it dissolves quickly and it sticks to food when you're salting meat or vegetables. It also does not contain iodine, which can impart a strange taste to your food.

Moroccan Bread

Ingredients for one loaf:

2 C. King Aurthur all purpose unbleached white flour
1 C. King Aurthur white whole wheat flour
1/3 C. milk - scalded and cooled
1/2 C. warm water
2 tsp. dry yeast
cooking spray
coarse sea salt

Method:

Spray a cake pan well with cooking spray, set aside. In a bowl mix the two flours together. Mix the yeast in the water and set aside for five minutes. Make a well in the center of flour, pour in your milk and yeast. Stir in a little flour from the sides of the well to make a thick batter and let sit for 15 minutes.

Mix in the rest of the flour, turn out onto a clean board and knead the dough well for 10 minutes. Pat out into a round the size of your cake pan. Cover and let rise in a warm place for about an hour. Heat the oven to 425. Just before you put the bread in the oven brush it with water and sprinkle it with the coarse sea salt. Do not put salt into the dough. I know it's not there, that is on purpose. Salt inhibits yeast, and this dough is only risen once, so, no salt in the bread, the salt on top will be enough.

Bake the bread for about 45-60 minutes, until it is brown and sounds hollow when tapped.

This bread does not keep well and is best eaten fresh.

Harira

Ingredients:

2-3 lbs. lamb neck or neck and shoulder slices
1 Tbs. grapeseed oil
1 large onion - chopped
2 cloves garlic - minced
1 Tbs. ground cumin
1 Tbs. smoked paprika
1 Tbs. coriander seed - ground
1/2 bunch cilantro - chopped
several grinds of fresh pepper
2 Tbs. kosher salt
4 Tbs. tomato paste
2 cans of diced tomatoes
1 C. yellow lentils
Cilantro and lemon to garnish

Method:

Get out a crock pot, and turn it onto warm. In a pan, add the oil and brown all of the meat a little at a time, being sure not to crowd the pan. Put the meat into the crock pot. Cook the onions in the oil left from the meat. When they are starting to brown and become clear add them to the crock. Put everything into the crock pot add water to just cover and cook on low for about six - eight hours.

With a slotted spoon remove all the meat and let cool slightly. Pick the meat from the bones and shred it. Return the meat to the crock and let cook for a few minutes. Skim the fat from the top of the soup before you serve it.

Serve the soup with bread, cilantro and lemon. This makes enough for about 8 servings.

Preserved for posterity

During my recent travels I was wandering around a farmer's market with a friend who has this idea to make her own rooster sauce. I enjoy making these things too, and as we looked at the peppers it came upon our brains that perhaps we could buy them and smuggle them onto a plane to take them home.

As it turns out you can take food onto airplanes.

I use a lot of rooster sauce, I put it in sir fries, soups, chili and use it as a dipping sauce. There are a couple of problems with making your own rooster sauce: you need to find the right peppers to get the right taste, purchasing/growing your own peppers is incredibly vexing here in the northwest. Of course I want organic peppers, and being that there's not really anyone who grows peppers up here I would have to travel to where they are being sold. I suppose I could have them shipped, but the assurance of quality would be lost. I would expect if you went to a high end grocery store you could find a larger selection of peppers, even organic, but the problem is still present that those peppers were not picked ripe. This is actually a giant peeve of mine. Allow me to get out my soap box.

When you go to the grocery store and attempt to purchase produce, it is often an inferior product. A certain unnamed major chain claims to inspect the produce five times before it gets to you. This guarantees that the produce is picked green, so they have time to inspect it before you look at it, and that the price will be substantially increased to compensate for the needless produce poking. Produce shipped from long distances will never shine like the original fruit, tree/bush ripened, and picked at the peak of perfection. I think someone actually claims that and then ships thing worldwide. You might wonder why when you go to Mexico that they have the most fantastic avocados. That when you are in Washington that the apples are so perky, that in Florida they have wonderful oranges, and why you can get the most amazing pineapples in Jamaica. I will type this slowly so that everyone can understand: when you plan to ship produce long distances it has to ripen on the way, and that means it's picked before it's ripe. Another trick is to spray the produce with various gasses to prevent ripening during shipping, and then a different gas to help the produce ripen when it arrives at it's destination. The solution is to shop local from markets, grow your own produce, and steer clear of supermarkets. Eat local, it's the only way. I will now get off my soap box, thank you.

San Francisco is not a hot area, and to grow hot peppers you need hot weather. So as I looked at the misshapen peppers (I don't mind, I'm going to grind them anyhow) in the bargain bags I realize that it is going to cost me/my hubby around a few hundred dollars a jar to make this sauce. Then again, I could look at the situation that I'm on vacation and now I get to make a few jars of this sauce, something that would not be as easy to do if I were not visiting this wonderful area.

The nice farmer did not have the right peppers, so I knew when I started out that I was not going to be making rooster sauce, but rather a red pepper sauce. It did turn out well, and it's very tasty and sweet, being that I used a lot of sweet peppers.

I did a lot of pickling yesterday, as I do enjoy pickles and I need to have pickled jalapenos. I love pickled jalapenos, they are a staple in my house. I think they work best in scrambles and the like, but if you're looking to make a quick and dirty taco they sure help out. I also like to eat them, but the way I eat them, I always run out. They also come in cans, so I have to move my pickles from one container to another, and I think they pick up a distinct metallic taste. The solution is clearly to make my own. Another issue, they NEVER put enough onion in those things. Pickled onion with jalapenos is like pure ambrosia, yet they're packing in a measly strip or two.

I also pickled garlic. I'm not sure what I'll do with it, but since you can buy a giant pack of peeled garlic at the pan Asian grocery store down the way, it seemed a logical progression for me.

You might begin to wonder why I'm telling you all this: because I used one vinegar base to make all three types of preserves and it took me about 2 hours to make everything. I am actually going to give you the recipe for the jalapenos and garlic, but not the pepper paste, I made it up from my head after hearing the recipe read to me from my friend's phone: peppers, vinegar, garlic; I have confidence in your Google skills. Also I got a random assortment of peppers, I have no idea what types.

Pickled Jalapenos and Garlic

Ingredients:

2 C. water
1 Tbs citric acid
2 C. brown rice vinegar
1 C. unfiltered apple cider vinegar
2 C. white vinegar
1/2 C. Splenda
1/4 C. organic sugar
20 sliced jalapenos
4 Tbs minced garlic
1 thin sliced onion
3 cups peeled garlic
dill seed
mustard seed
red chili flake
several canning jars, lids and rings
chopsticks

Method:

Heat your oven to 225, put your washed jars in the oven. Put your rings and lids in a water bath (washed of course). Heat the rings and lids over low. Get your water bather going now.

Slice your jalapenos and put them in one bowl. Slice the onion and put it in a different bowl, put the minced garlic in a small bowl and the peeled garlic in it's own bowl.

In a large pot heat the water, citric acid, sugar, splenda and all of the vinegars to boiling.

Remove one jar from the oven. Set it on a towel. Put a small scoop of hot liquid into the jar. This is very important as you do not want to put cool vegetables into a hot jar without a buffer. This will ensure that you don't break a jar. In the bottom of the jar put a dab of minced garlic and a few strips of onion. Get out your chopsticks and arrange the onion to take up as little space as possible, put in a handful of jalapenos, arrange to take up as little space as possible and then add more onions. Continue in this method until you have the jar pretty full, about 1/2 inch from the top. Pour hot liquid over the vegetables and wipe the rim with a damp cloth. Add one ring and one lid. Finish up the jalapenos. Water bath for 10 minutes. If you need better canning directions go look on the internet.

For the garlic, it's the same method, a bit of liquid, a few slices of onion and then fill the jar 1/2 way with garlic. At this time you might want to infuse each jar a special way with dill, mustard or chili flake. The choices are up to you. After you do or do not add spices fill the jar 1/2 inch from the top with garlic and then cover with hot liquid, water bath for 15 minutes.

Allow all your jars to cool over night before removing the rings. Test each one for seal and if they aren't sealed put them in the fridge and eat them in a few days.

Insainely good.

We recently went to the land of San Francisco, where there is a lovely farmer's market and a large specialty food market.

I bought a couple things there and as I was doing so I thought in my little head that while these things are good, can't I get them at home? The truffle salt almost certainly. It comes from Italy, and I'm sure that if I got off my bum I could find some here. But there it was, and it's so good, I could barley contain myself, and then of course if I buy it on travel, it comes from the travel budget and not my monthly grocery budget. That's a tip kids, write it down. Using that salt is going to be wonderful; I can already envision the potatoes, the caprese salads, the green salads, the popcorn...

I also bought a salame pepato from Boccalone, though Salumi's is just downtown. I do have to admit, I have never been to Salumi's, even though it's owned by Mario Batali's dad. I have heard from my husband that it's wonderful. I suppose the reason we don't shop there is simply because I don't often buy cured meats.


Don't get me wrong. I love salami, pepperoni, pancetta, prosciutto, really all of these wonderful meats, but they often are very fatty. Being very fatty, you shouldn't be eating very much of them, and so we don't. Which is also why I'm willing to spend $12 (a bargain really, but then again, tasting is believing) on a six ounce sausage. If you are going to eat something that is bad for you, you shouldn't eat much of it. If you're going to eat just a little bit of something, shouldn't you get a premium quality product? I strongly think so, otherwise you end up wasting your calories on something that just doesn't taste as good, and you'll probably feel dirty inside when your done.

I know you can go down to the store and get salami from the deli for around $10 a pound. I don't know about you, but I know how to use a calculator, and the salami I bought rings up at $32 a pound. I will put money on the fact that in a fight Boccalone's salami will kick your grocery store salami's butt all up and down the block and then spit in it's eye.

I read a lot of murder mysteries. I know that sounds like a non sequitur, but it ties in. One of the authors I really like is Rex Stout, he writes about an eccentric mystery solving foodie. I have read so many of them that when I found out that there was a cook book of all this food I immediately acquired a copy. The title is "The Nero Wolf Cookbook." While this is not any sort of a healthy cookery book, I strongly suggest you purchase one, as it's very good. The recipes are simple in flavors, and they are strongly American recipes, mostly from the 1930's and 40's. They however, aren't your grandmother's recipes, they are high brow, haute cuisine and delicious. Anyhow, I was nosing through this book and found a recipe called "rice fritters", and they sounded so good. They involve heavy cream, eggs, rice and deep frying. How in the world could this be bad? The main recipe was for a sweet version, but it got the little gray cells moving. I lighten up the recipe, and removed some of the deep frying, well all of actually, and as I was munching the little cracker like rounds I made I was struck by an overwhelming question. If these things I have made are so good, would you be able to eat the real thing without fainting?

I also made a sauce to go with my little rice rounds out of cherry tomatoes, while good, I finally decided that the sauce was overpowering the wonderful taste I had created with the rice fritters. I would think that you could make a plain fritter and put whatever you want with it, sauce or jam, but I was really looking for a way to let that salami shine in the fritters. This makes enough for two people, five WW points per serving.

Salami Rice Fritters

Ingredients:

1 C. white rice - uncooked
1 Tbs. organic Better Than Bullion chicken paste
2 C. water
1 minced clove garlic
1/4 tsp. sesame oil
1/4 C. organic farm fresh egg whites
2 Tbs. organic non-homogenized half and half
a dash of salt, a sprinkle of pepper
1 oz. high quality salami, cut into slices 1/8th of an inch thick
2 sprigs fresh oregano, leaves only
2 Tbs. high quality Parmesan cheese
cooking spray

Method:

In a rice cooker, combine the bullion, sesame oil and garlic with 2 C. warm water. Rinse and drain the rice in a sieve and then cook the rice in the cooker (my husband refers to this as crack rice, and if you're still cooking your rice in plain ol' water it won't be as good as mine.)

When the rice is done, let it cool completely. In a large sauce pan combine 1 C. rice, you will have left over, the egg whites, half and half and the salt and pepper.

In a small bowl put your oregano, finely minced, grated cheese and your salami, the salami needs to be slice 1/8th of an inch thick and cut into tiny cubes. These pieces should be very small, but not grated.

Over the lowest heat possible, constantly stir the rice mixture until it gets thick. Do not let the eggs cook all the way, you are just looking for it to get a bit thicker.

Remove from heat and add the contents of your small bowl. Mix well. Get out your griddle and put it on a medium high heat, about 325 would do nicely. Spray the griddle well with cooking spray. Drop scoops of the mixture by tablespoons onto the griddle, tap down a bit and push into round shapes.

Now let them cook until they are golden brown on the bottom, and this might take several minutes. Flip them over and cook them to golden brown on the other side.

Serve warm, makes around 14 rounds.

Samosas, not Samoas.

I often get asked to bring appetizers to my in-law type gatherings. I think it all started when I was put randomly in charge and as I looked for a good holiday type appetizer I came across a recipe in like Good Housekeeping or Family World or something like that and it was a huge hit.

The recipe was for a shallot, fig and goat cheese thing on crustini, so everyone, except my husband's youngest sister loved it, and ever since then I'm often designated to something to keep the kids out of the main meals.

My father in law, my husband, his brother, his oldest sister and his younger sister to an extent are all ingredient pickers. They march into the kitchen, hang out and grab things off the cutting board or straight out of the pan. It can be aggravating as you cut enough of something and they all march through and take one or two, and then you need to cut more!

They also eat pasta. Dry, hard, raw, uncooked pasta. And dough. I'm making bread, muffins, cookies, doesn't matter, everyone needs a scoop of dough. To make matters worse my brother in law's girlfriend is also a dough eater, another person, just munchin' down my dough.

Over the years I have tried to come up with the perfect samosa recipe. I love these little fried dumplings, and while I know, yes fried things are delicious, I really like these. They're salty and spicy and you dip them in sweet chutney. So marvelous. I've tried everything for the wrapper from philo dough to strudel dough and tortillas. I worked with a gal for a while who was from India, or nearby and she made the best samosas, and she said she just used tortillas, but they never work for me. They don't fold, they don't work right. I have decided that the thing to do is to make your own tortillas and then instead of dry frying them, deep fry them.

As it turns out, whether or not this is correct, it IS delicious. I tried a couple variations on my dough, and I've come to the conclusion that you do need some masa, and really you should head for pie dough, and not for a mixed dough.

I normally don't fry anything. I fry maybe once every two years. This year is special as I've had things fried in my house twice now. I don't like to fry mostly because of the smell and the mess. I like my subway tile pristine, and the top of my stove to be gleaming white. I strongly dislike all the tiny droplets of oil that get all over everything, including the floor. However once in a while you have to fry, but it's really not a regular option in my kitchen, what with the lingering smell and all. Oh, another point of contention. It's not healthy. I don't give a rat's batooskie what the article in Cooking Light said. I've read them all and they all say 'if properly done, deep fried food's really not that bad for you.' WRONG! No, you've taken that item and submerged it in hot oil. There is NO WAY that food is now good for you. You notice the choice of words "not that bad". That's right, it's still not good for you, just less bad. If you have a fry daddy at home, perhaps you should reevaluate your cooking methods to something that doesn't involve you 'saving your frying oil.'

I was watching Paula Dean, who I love, and she spent a long time about how to care for your frying oil. I was kind of confused, because oil goes rancid after a few months, and with the infrequency of my frying, well why am I saving it? No, I just buy new oil every time. Another thing I dislike about frying: what do I do with the oil when I'm done? How do I get rid of that? I feel like it should go into compost, or I should contact someone who makes bio-diesel. "Hello, I have two cups of used cooking oil, would you like it?"


Normally when you make samosas you also make mint and tamarind chutney. I love these two chutneys, they are amazing. Tamarind chutney is also really easy to make, however on this day I did not have tamarind hanging about. I did remember that my mom had given me a chutney (peach and mango) that she had made a few years ago, and she told me it would 'be good with chicken'. I don't think she thought it was very good. Or she doesn't know how to properly apply the deliciousness contained within the jar. I opened it up, tested it, and was like hooray! Winner! It was sweet, yet had lots of cinnamon and strong spices in it. Not spicy hot, so the proper application for samosas. I apologize for not being able to tell you what she did, I can only tell you that it was great.

You might have to make the dough mixture more than once. Also you are going to need a tortilla press for this. I know you can magically pat out tortillas by hand, but I am not a magical Hispanic lady who's been doing it all my life. I am in fact a gringo, and need tortilla press help. One hint for your press, get a ziplock bag and cut it open, then press the dough into that. It works really well, and makes the whole process totally painless.

Patty's Samosas

Ingredients:

3-4 russet potatoes
3 Tbs garham masala
1 tsp. turmeric
2 green Thai chilies
1 sweet onion, finely chopped
2 Tbs. butter
2 Tbs. grapeseed oil
1/2 C. organic green peas
1 Tbs. kosher salt

3 C. King Arthur All purpose flour
1 C. tortilla masa
1 tsp. baking powder
2 tsp. kosher salt
1/4 C. grapeseed oil

Oil for frying

Method:

Get your oil ready, it should bubble when you drop a pinch of dough in it.

In a large pot of water put your peeled and diced potatoes and turmeric to boil until the potatoes are soft and tender. Drain and set aside. In a pan bring the oil and butter to melt, and when the butter is no longer foaming add the garham masala, chili, onion and salt. Cook for a minute then add the potatoes and lightly mash. Stir in the peas. Remove from heat and set aside.

In a bowl combine the flour, masa and baking powder. Stir well and add the salt and oil. Then add just enough water to bring the dough together. Be careful not to over mix, think pie dough. Knead the dough maybe once or twice to ensure it's mixed well.

Pinch off a bit of dough about the size of a golf ball. Place this in the tortilla press and press flat. Peel off and set on a floured surface. Place a Tbs of potato mixture in the middle of your dough and shape to a triangle. Pinch up two sides to halfway down, then pinch up the remaining side to form a triangle.

Repeat.

When you have six or so triangles place into your hot oil, over medium high heat, think like placing pieces of pie, so you can fit six or so pieces in your pan at once. Cook for 5-7 minutes on the first side, or until they are crispy and golden brown. Turn over and cook for a further five minutes. Drain on towels and serve warm with chutney.