Cheating Cake

For a couple years I worked at a place full of wonderful persons, and I was in charge of cakes the last year I worked there. I left without anger, or on bad terms, as I was simply seeking to do something else. This blog is for them.

Making a cake is so simple. I can, and have made cakes from scratch, and these are simply divine. The best I ever made was a vanilla cupcake with vanilla bean in the batter and a milk chocolate frosting. Don't over think it, vanilla cake with chocolate frosting is a classic for a reason.

I often look at cake books and they have recipes in them, but I rarely buy them. I don't need someone to tell me how to make a lavender cake. I know how to do that, you flavor it like lavender. Der. When I purchase cooking magazines I go through and cut out recipes to put in my three ring binders for later use. Often when I come to a dessert recipe I just cut out the picture, especially if it's a cookie or cake. I make these brownies at Christmas that are orange chocolate brownies. The original recipe said to make these brownies such and such a way and then makes these two frostings and the actual recipe didn't sound good, but the name and picture made me think of a great brownie. I have a picture of a light purple cake, and it's actually for a 'wedding' cake, just champagne flavored, but when I look at it I think lavender cake. I have saved that picture because I don't want to forget about this cake that I thought of. I'm not sure how to do it, but I'm sure it would be good. Maybe a goat cheese filling.

I know that many people's minds don't work like mine, and I have given out cake recipes before, and I don't begrudge them to anyone. I do have a few things that I do that are a bit out of the norm. One: I almost always use a box mix. You can get them dirt cheap around the holidays. You need to stock up, I often find them for a buck or less, and buy around 4 or 5 to get me through the year (more when you owe cake to the ladies at work!) Really, how many cakes do you eat in a year? How many are you going to make? Two? It's cake, it's not a staple. You only need to buy two flavors: chocolate and vanilla.

Oh wait, I have a soap box moment. Who came up with the term 'snack cake'? I'm going to punch that person. You don't eat cake as a snack. Cake is something you eat on occasion, it's a treat. It's incredibly bad for you, and then you cover it in a mixture of butter and sugar. It's not something you can 'snack on' and remain an average size. This brings me to the horrifying observation that candy bars come in 'snack sizes' too! Who are these people? They out to be kicked. All right, soap box over.

The second thing I do to my cake mix: when the box says oil, they really mean melted and cooled butter. I'm not kidding, it's so much better. Third: they are telling you to cook that cake wrong. Cakes need to be cooked at a lower temperature, 350 is way to high to cook a cake properly. What will happen is you will end up with rubbery dry cake. This means you'll need frosting and ice cream to make that cake palatable. Turn down the heat to 325. They also tell you to cook the cake for too long. Start testing the cake at the least amount of time called for you preferred pan. I usually find that my cakes are just done at this time. This is what you want, just done cake. Don't give it a chance to dry out!

Fourth: Don't put water in your cake, if at all possible you should be using sour milk. Don't get all whiny about sour milk, sour milk is great for baking with. If you drink milk and have a bunch that's gone sour (now I mean sour, not chunky and obviously bad) you can use that to bake with. It makes great bread pudding. It's similar in flavor to buttermilk or yogurt, but more economical, as you were gonna throw that out anyhow.

Oh, I always sift my box mix, otherwise it doesn't mix up so well, and I never beat them as long as they tell you too. The reason for this is, when you beat flour you are making gluten, and this can make your cake hard, or stiff and rubbery. Use a whisk and beat just till smooth. Do NOT use a hand mixer, you will over mix that cake.

I will be telling you to put in flavorings that you might think are already in the cake mix, however, those boxes are designed to bring in maximum profit, so the flavorings used aren't the best. Let's talk vanilla for a minute. Don't buy imitation vanilla. Really you shouldn't buy imitation flavors at all. They don't taste very good. If you want something to taste like rum, put rum in it. If you want a butter flavor, use butter. Otherwise buy high quality flavors, it makes all the difference.

Now I only use Mexican vanilla. The last time we were there I almost died because I left my vanilla in the fridge at our hotel. You cannot just go pick one up at the air port. The one that I buy is called D' Lis, and it is the best. It has a sweet, floral vanilla flavor, and you can drink it straight from the bottle. It's unsweetened, and strongly flavored. It's very, very pure, and one of the more expensive vanillas. When choosing your vanilla you must be careful. Talk to the shop owner, find out how they care for that vanilla. Has it been exposed to the light? Has it been kept in a cooler place? When they sell it to you, it should be wrapped in brown paper and then put into a refrigerator as soon as possible, to protect the flavor. Look at the expatriation date. Don't buy expired vanilla. You might have to pay a bit more, for the same brand and bottle, for well treated vanilla. Calm down, it's only like a buck or two.

When I realized that I had left my vanilla, I did what any good chef does, I made my own. I had some beans that were getting on the elderly side, and some that were still good and fresh. I took a bunch of them - seven or so, and put them in a cup of vodka. When you do this, you should use as many beans as possible, open them up, shave them and put all that into a clean 8 oz. jar. Now cover it with vodka, a vodka you would drink. Not top shelf, but something decent. I tend to use Sky Vodka for infusions, it's cheap, but not bad. Put a clean lid on your jar of vodka and put that in the fridge and shake it occasionally. In about a month it will be ready to use.


I do need to talk about food coloring for a minute. I have gone the route of the true confectioner and bought thick food colors. It makes a difference when you make frosting. If you use liquid food color your frosting will become more and more thin as you color it. The colors are harder to make vibrant. I did not buy a frosting color for the green and sorely regretted it.

Now that we have covered some basics I will give you three cake recipes. Only because I feel like the social committee posse at VV deserves them.

Peanut Butter Cake

Ingredients:

1 vanilla box cake mix
1 tsp. kosher salt
4 farm fresh eggs
1 15 oz. jar smooth peanut butter (like Jiff, not natural)
1 C. sour milk
1/3 C. fair trade dutch process cocoa
1 stick softened butter
5-6 C. powdered sugar

Method

Prepare your pans by greasing and flouring them. Turn the oven on to 325.

Sift the box mix into a bowl, add the salt. Using a whisk mix in the eggs and 1/2 the jar of peanut butter. Add the sour milk and beat just until smooth. Pour into the cake pans and bake just until done. Bake just until done. Remove and cool for 10 minutes on a rack. De-pan and cool completely.

Mix together the remaining peanut butter and 2 C. powdered sugar to make a stiff frosting. If needed add a bit of water 1 tsp. at a time. Frost the middle and top of the cake with this frosting.

Mix together the remaining powdered sugar, cocoa powder and butter to a stiff frosting, use this frosting on the sides and carefully cover the top of the peanut butter frosting on top of the cake.

Note: I know that the recipe says to put oil into the cake, but you have to remember that peanut butter has a lot of oil in it. Don't worry, the cake will come out fine.


Dulce De Leche Cake

Ingredients:

3 cans sweetened condensed milk
1 vanilla cake mix
4 farm fresh eggs
1 C. sour milk
2/3 C. melted and cooled butter
4 C. powdered sugar
1 stick softened butter

Method:

Prepare your pans by greasing and flouring them. Turn the oven on to 325.

This is not recommended, don't do this. In the largest pot you own, peel the cans of condensed milk and place in the bottom on a rag. Pour water over the cans to cover by 3 inches. Bring to a simmer for 6-8 hours. Do not let the water level get lower than 1 inch over the tops of the cans. Remove from the water and let cool completely. You now have Dulce De Leche. Please taste it.

Sift the cake mix into a bowl. Mix in 1 can dulce de leche, the sour milk, the melted butter and the eggs. Mix just until smooth. Pour into prepared pans.

Bake just until done. Remove and cool for 10 minutes on a rack. De-pan and cool completely.

In a bowl combine the softened butter and 1 can dulce de leche, the softened butter and powdered sugar. Mix to a stiff frosting, add 1 tsp. water at a time if needed.

First 'frost' the cake with the remaining can of dulce de leche in the middle and the top, then use the frosting you made to frost the cake on the top and sides.

Pumpkin Cupcakes

Ingredients:

1 vanilla cake mix
2 Tbs. TJ's pumpkin pie spice
7 oz. can organic pumpkin
1/2 C. melted and cooled butter
4 farm fresh eggs
1/2 C. buttermilk
1 8oz. stick cream cheese
5 C. powdered sugar
1/4 tsp cinnamon oil
1 Tbs. Vanilla
black food coloring
orange food coloring
green food coloring

Method:

Sift the cake mix into a bowl. . Mix in the pumpkin, the buttermilk, the melted butter and the eggs. Mix just until smooth, if needed add a bit of water. Spread into prepared pans. It will be thicker, don't worry, pumpkin has a lot of moisture in it.

Bake just until done. Remove and cool for 10 minutes on a rack. De-pan and cool completely.

In your food processor combine the sugar, cream cheese, cinnamon oil and vanilla. Mix until the mixture comes into a ball. Add 1 Tbs. buttermilk, but no more. Mix by hand and then separate into two small bowls of black and green and one big bowl of orange.

Frost the bases orange with green tops and black faces.

I gnocchi all about it.

There was a time in my life when I was not a good cook. Hard to believe, I know. I had moved out of my parent's house, and while I had many a baking skills and could follow a recipe, I would not have classified myself as a good cook. Not to say that I was bad, average, perhaps?

I was also a vegetarian; now the world of vegetarians can be very boring. There's only so many types of pasta you can eat, so I decided to branch out one day and try gnocchi. In my innocence I bought some sort of dried gnocchi product. I made a tomato sauce, I'm sure the sauce wasn't bad, followed the package directions and smothered the little nuggets in sauce.

It was horrible. The gnocchi had a weird plastic taste and the consistency of rubber. That was over ten years ago. I wrote gnocchi off as disgusting.

Over the years my food values have changed and it came to my attention that there are more than one country where people eat gnocchi and it's apparently considered a wonderful thing. I decided I had to try again. I was spurred into action by, God only knows what. I suppose it was when I spied these fantastic heirloom potatoes at the Sunday market. This potato farm was growing the most wonderful types of hard to find potatoes. I bought some German Butterballs and went home with my prize. I also picked up some hand forged chevre, yellow beets and a bunch of flowers for my kitchen window.

I knew what I was going to do with those potatoes when I bought them, I was going to make gnocchi, it can't be that hard right?

I poked around on the internet and landed on a good source of how to make gnocchi. Mario Batali. I also looked at a bunch of other recipes, some that claimed they came from Italian grandmothers, and finally I decided to go with the pro. His seemed the most authentic, and he didn't use cheese in his potato pasta. I mashed and riced, and decided I need a potato ricer, not just the standard ricer I have. When I was done, I made a light cheese sauce, fixed a salad and voila! Dinner accomplished. I offered my toils to my husband, who has only had gnocchi once himself at an upscale restaurant.

It was great. So tender, yet soft and the texture was good. The potato flavor was unbelievable, I highly recommend German Butterball potatoes. My husband was impressed, and offered his permission to make these again. Stirred by my initial success I dug deeper and found a lot of people think that gnocchi is really hard to make. I had a conversation with an Italian friend and she sided with me, no they aren't hard to make and are delicious.

Now onto my initial idea. Beet Gnocchi. Yes, that's right, gnocchi made with beets and a chevre sauce. I scoured the interwebs and nerts! Someone else thought of it first. I threw caution into the wind and came up with my own idea. I also invited people over to eat my creation and they liked it. I probably won't do it again, it was messy, it was sticky, and the beet color didn't stay like I wanted it too. And the texture wasn't as good as potato gnocchi. Still, a success under my belt.

This is just another example of how you shouldn't be intimidated because some people are bad cooks. You should fling yourself out there and if you fall on your face, just do what Julia Child suggests and pretend that's what you meant to do.

I have plans to make one more type of gnocchi. As it turns out the French also make a type of gnocchi. This makes sense to me because France and Italy are close together, and the French were probably like "oh, this gnocchi is good, but it could use more butter and eggs." I read the recipe that Julia Child uses (she even calls it gnocchi, a potato pasta), and it uses a pate a choux, the base for eclairs and puff pastry, but mixes in a bunch of eggs, butter and potatoes. It sounds fantastic, and I'm sure it is. I would only make it for a party, as it's sure to be very rich, especially because she serves it with a beurre blanc sauce or something of the sort.

Well I will tell you what to do for beet gnocchi, I would suggest you make a balsamic based sauce Bearnaise for this. I'm sure you can do it, or I will probably do it later.

You must start the day before you want to eat. Even if you use ricotta instead of cottage cheese. Your cheese needs to be very dry for this, no whey at all in the cheese.

Beet Gnocchi

Ingredients:

3 large golden beets - roasted whole
1 lb. boiled Yukon potatoes
2 C. King Arthur all purpose flour
1 lb. fat free organic cottage cheese
1 farm fresh egg
Chicken Stock

Method:

The day before you plan to eat: put a fine mesh strainer in a bowl, line with cheese cloth, dump the cottage cheese into the cheese cloth, wrap the cheese cloth over the top of the cheese. Fill the now empty container with water and place on top of the cheese. Put this in the fridge.

Roast the beets whole. Boil the potatoes whole and when they are done peel both of them, do not let them cool off before you peel them. Finely shred the potatoes and beets until there are no large lumps. The beets may be put through a food processor, but not the potatoes. If you have a potato ricer, that would be ideal.

Put the mashed potato and beet into a bowl. In a food processor place the drained cheese, grind it till it is very fine. Add this to the bowl, stir in the egg, and a bit of salt. If you want you could add a pinch of nutmeg. Add the flour and do the best you can with the mixture, it will not come together into a ball very well. It should be rather soft, but still workable. Flour the working surface well. Divide the mixture into three balls and form each one into a tube. Cut off small sections and set aside on a floured surface.

Bring your chicken stock to a boil. Twenty at a time boil the gnocchi until they float, then boil them another minute or two. Lift out with a slotted spoon and serve immediately.

Harira it up.

So, if you've been reading from the beginning you would know that I had a deal with a farmer to purchase a lamb. I have not gotten a lamb from him. I'm not going to say it's all his fault, because after I demanded my deposit back and said that I was going to tell people about the type of business he does he offered me a lamb. I declined.

I will tell you what happened and why I declined.

Once upon a time there were four bridesmaids, and they loved the bride dearly. They decided to throw her a lua. It was to be wonderful, the smallest bridesmaid said "ooh, ooh, let's get a suckling pig!" and there was much rejoicing. She contacted a local farmer, who would sell her one at a decent price and gave him a deposit.

Two weeks before the lua, the farmer called the short bridesmaid and said she would not get a pig, but she could order one from someone else, but it would cost a lot more. She made other plans.

The wedding went off without a hitch, and the happy couple departed. The small bridesmaid called the farmer and reminded him that he said she could buy a lamb. He said yes and she gave him a deposit. When butcher time came, he did not call her. The bridesmaid sent him an email, and got a promise of a call and a slaughter date for her lamb. The call never came. Weeks went by and no call came from the farmer. The bridesmaid got really pissed off and wrote a nasty email and asked paypal to help her get her money back.

The farmer was clearly scared by her wrath and refunded her deposit and said she could have a lamb. The bridesmaid, still too pissed after the run around, no pig, and no lamb, told him where to stick it.

The end.

Basically bad business happening. I'm pretty sure I would never have heard from the man if I hadn't gotten pissy, and I don't want to do business with someone like that.

Anyhow I don't have a lamb and this makes me sad. I love lamb, it's tender and flavorful. I was also hoping to have some of those parts that are really hard to find, bits for haggis (don't worry, a Scotchtoberfest will happen, and you will hear about it), and especially neck slices.

I did luck out the other day and find neck and shoulder slices, and those are ok, a bit meaty perhaps, and lacking in the shear quantity of bone that neck slices have, but still a good soup cut. Lamb soup is wonderful. I highly recommend it. However don't use stew meat, or shank. What you need is lots and lots of bone. You could probably fake it with soup bones and stew meat, but you also don't have the connective tissue that the neck has. Also lamb neck slices are dirt cheap if you can find them. Like around a dollar a pound, regardless of how organic and pastured that meat is.

My favorite type of lamb soup is Harira, a traditional Moroccan soup. Normally eaten during Ramadan, I like to eat it during the week. This soup defiantly gets better with age so it's best to make a bunch at once. I usually make a big pot, freeze half of it and later we have soup again.

Ok, so you might have guessed, that I am not Moroccan and totally found this in a book, but it's so amazing, and I make it different than the books says, but it is still traditional. And if you serve it with Moroccan bread, it's about the best meal you can have.

I like to make the Moroccan bread, because it only takes one rise. That means that I can come home, start the bread, make a salad, heat the soup and in 1.75 hours we have fresh bread with no hassle. I will give you both recipes today. But only because I feel like I've been neglecting you.

On a side note, you might think I put a lot of salt into things, but I use Kosher salt, and because of the shape of Kosher salt, it actually takes up a lot more space, for the same weight, than table salt. If you use table salt, use a scant 2 tsp. for every Tbs. in my recipes. The reason to use Kosher salt is because it's good for sprinkling, it dissolves quickly and it sticks to food when you're salting meat or vegetables. It also does not contain iodine, which can impart a strange taste to your food.

Moroccan Bread

Ingredients for one loaf:

2 C. King Aurthur all purpose unbleached white flour
1 C. King Aurthur white whole wheat flour
1/3 C. milk - scalded and cooled
1/2 C. warm water
2 tsp. dry yeast
cooking spray
coarse sea salt

Method:

Spray a cake pan well with cooking spray, set aside. In a bowl mix the two flours together. Mix the yeast in the water and set aside for five minutes. Make a well in the center of flour, pour in your milk and yeast. Stir in a little flour from the sides of the well to make a thick batter and let sit for 15 minutes.

Mix in the rest of the flour, turn out onto a clean board and knead the dough well for 10 minutes. Pat out into a round the size of your cake pan. Cover and let rise in a warm place for about an hour. Heat the oven to 425. Just before you put the bread in the oven brush it with water and sprinkle it with the coarse sea salt. Do not put salt into the dough. I know it's not there, that is on purpose. Salt inhibits yeast, and this dough is only risen once, so, no salt in the bread, the salt on top will be enough.

Bake the bread for about 45-60 minutes, until it is brown and sounds hollow when tapped.

This bread does not keep well and is best eaten fresh.

Harira

Ingredients:

2-3 lbs. lamb neck or neck and shoulder slices
1 Tbs. grapeseed oil
1 large onion - chopped
2 cloves garlic - minced
1 Tbs. ground cumin
1 Tbs. smoked paprika
1 Tbs. coriander seed - ground
1/2 bunch cilantro - chopped
several grinds of fresh pepper
2 Tbs. kosher salt
4 Tbs. tomato paste
2 cans of diced tomatoes
1 C. yellow lentils
Cilantro and lemon to garnish

Method:

Get out a crock pot, and turn it onto warm. In a pan, add the oil and brown all of the meat a little at a time, being sure not to crowd the pan. Put the meat into the crock pot. Cook the onions in the oil left from the meat. When they are starting to brown and become clear add them to the crock. Put everything into the crock pot add water to just cover and cook on low for about six - eight hours.

With a slotted spoon remove all the meat and let cool slightly. Pick the meat from the bones and shred it. Return the meat to the crock and let cook for a few minutes. Skim the fat from the top of the soup before you serve it.

Serve the soup with bread, cilantro and lemon. This makes enough for about 8 servings.